Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
