OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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