omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
