yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
