Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
