$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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