I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
