isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
