playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
