i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
