Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
