We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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