Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I got her a Nickelback box set.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
