Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
