The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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