The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
