I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
