chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
