An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
