I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
