Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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