I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
