I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
