Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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