you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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