Plan B is the new Plan A
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
