do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize