Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
