hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
