Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
