Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
