I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
