What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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