Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Randomize
