if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
then he tried to convert me to islam
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
