I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Randomize
