i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
