sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
