I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Randomize
