You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
