I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think your dad took our porno
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
