I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
You're like the curious george of whores
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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