I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
