i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
