you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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