Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize