I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
