Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
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