Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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