Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
