Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
