Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Randomize
