Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.

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(856): View more from New Jersey

i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.

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(419): View more from Ohio

It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.

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(516): View more from New York

She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning

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(443): View more from Maryland

i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor

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(801): View more from Utah

He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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(416): View more from Toronto

I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.

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(951): View more from California

Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?

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