Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
