she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
