dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
